While most Americans are excited for "American Idol" because of the singing and performing and snide commentary from Simon Cowell, I get excited for an entirely different reason. No, not because I get to mock Paula Abdul's many wardrobe malfunctions (though that is fun too), but because from January to July Dreyer's/Edy's rolls out their Slow Churned American Idol flavors and holds a contest for one new flavor to be added to their regular line.
Last year, the almost sickeningly sweet "Take the Cake" flavor, described as yellow cake flavored light ice cream with a frosting swirl and multicolored sprinkles, won the popular vote. This year, the "Mint Karaoke Cookie" with mint light ice cream and chocolate sandwich cookie pieces beat out the "Cheesecake Diva," "Cookies 'N Dreamz," "Most Orange-inal," and "One Split Wonder" flavors for the crown. My two favorite flavors of ice cream are Cookies 'N Cream and Mint Chocolate Chip, so I couldn't have been happier with the selection.
Because I have difficulty restraining myself when there is ice cream in my own freezer at my apartment in LA, I have come up with a simple solution to reign in my consumption of the somewhat embarrassingly-named ice cream product. I force my parents to buy it for their freezer at their home in Newport Beach and only eat it when I am home for a visit.
My plan was brilliant (as most of my plans are), until my parents' freezer went on the fritz a few weekends ago. I have no idea how or when the unfortunate happenstance took place, but when I returned home one evening, I found my precious carton of "Mint Karaoke Cookie" stuck in a pack of ice at the bottom of the freezer. As I stared on in horror, I realized there was no way to extract the carton from the block of ice without defrosting the entire freezer. I would have to get the ice cream out myself.
Throwing all sense of dignity to the wind, I crouched down on the floor of my parents' kitchen and dug out a bowl of my new favorite ice cream. By the time I had secured my bowl, streams of melted mint ice cream and sticky bits of cookie covered my hands, but I had no shame. I licked the evidence off and proceeded to devour every creamy bite of my dessert. Simon Cowell might call my behavior "repulsive," Randy might say "Okay dawg, that's creepy," and Paula might say "The smile when I got a particularly large chunk of cookie sandwich lit up my face," but I know in my heart that I performed like a champ.
Because there ain't no block of ice large enough, there ain't no floor hard enough, their ain't no diet stern enough, to keep me from getting to my ice cream, man.