Last seen at the Trader Joe's at 7304 Santa Monica Blvd. on Saturday, November 15th, the Hot & Sweet mustard has since gone missing. Witness Garlic Aioli Mustard claims that one minute she was there, bringing delight to everyone who discovered her, and the next she was gone. He woke up one morning to find his shelf-mate had disappeared from the premises. While Mr. Garlic Aioli thinks that Dijon Mustard had something to do with Hot & Sweet's disappearance, Mr. Dijon insists he is innocent.
"Look, I liked Hot & Sweet as much as everyone else in the store." He responded, when questioned by authorities. "Why would I want her gone?"
Why, indeed. Plain Mustard believes that Mr. Dijon felt threatened by his sassy neighbor.
"People were bored with Dijon. He became increasingly hostile after Hot & Sweet arrived. Customers wanted something other than Dijon to put on their turkey sandwiches. Plus she had killer legs... he just couldn't compete."
Authorities are currently questioning Trader Joe's employees for more information into Hot & Sweet's mysterious disappearance. At this time, Mr. Dijon is not the primary suspect, but lead Investigator Diana is asking anyone who knows anything about the case to contact her immediately.
"It's getting to be a dire situation." She said, in an interview this morning. "I'm almost to the bottom of my last bottle!"