Tuesday, June 23, 2009

"I didn't know you were a Christian"

"Wow, just reading your 'leaving bread crumbs' blog..absolutely love it, didn't know you were a Christian :)" reads the direct Twitter message from Matt of Mattatouille at 10:36 AM this morning.

I smile, momentarily flattered. Nobody (aside from my mother) reads my blog about my experiences as a Christian woman living in LA.

Of course, I don't blame them. I haven't posted anything new on the site in three months (been too busy eating, cooking and photographing food), and the entries don't exactly lend themselves to enticing pictures. Unless a meadow or field or ray of light is enticing.

I respond back to Matt, excited to learn that he too is "gaga" for God, and we proceed to "Tweet" back and forth about that, as well as my controversial review for Ludobites. He encourages me to try the restaurant again - insisting that Ludo and Kristine really are remarkable people, and I agree that I'd like to return to see if I might have a different reaction to some of the dishes.

For a brief blissful moment, I feel the best I have in 24 hours. I'll go back. I'll have another (ideally more positive) "story" to tell about Ludobites, and everything will be fine. Hunky-dory in Twitterland and the LA food blogosphere. Kumbaya and all that jazz.

But then, right in the middle of my productive efforts to update an Excel spreadsheet, that darn voice in the back of my head starts peskering me again.

"Something's not right here." It says.

I scratch my head and say, "Head, what you talkin' bout? People are now aware that I have always known that steak tartare is raw meat, I think they know I wasn't actually drunk, AND I got an 'Amen!' on my 'I'm Not Sally Field' post! Everything is fine!"

The voice ignores my weak defense. "Something's not right." It repeats.

I try to push it aside to focus on my work. But then another e-mail pops up in my inbox from Matt. His words from this morning flash in front of me again... "I didn't know you were a Christian."

And suddenly everything is clear. I know what to do.

I am removing my Ludobites post again -- for good this time. Not because I have suddenly had this grand epiphany about Chef Ludo's vision (that's still to come if Ludo and Kristine will be gracious enough to allow me to experience Ludobites again), but because it's what the folks back home call "the right thing to do."

I want to be honest with my readers about my experiences, but at the end of this day and the next day and every day that follows thereafter, I report to a higher authority -- God. Despite how it might appear on this blog, I'm not on this earth just to eat and write and make a mess of things. I'm here to serve Him and to show His love to everyone on this crazy planet through my hopefully honorable actions -- even to that jerk in the Prius who cuts me off on the 10 FWY.

Chef Ludo and Kristine are not bad people, and they are most certainly not bullies. They are good people who, just like me, are struggling to make a living and struggling to make their dreams come true. Would I like it if someone blasted my Excel spreadsheets for being lackluster? No. I'd probably have a few choice words to tell that person. Hopefully not four letter words (Jesus don't like the swearin'), but sometimes they do slip out. Especially when I'm driving. And hungry.

The point is that my post hurt Chef Ludo and Kristine, and as a Christian, I can't justify that -- especially considering the superb service that our party received from them on Thursday night. I may not be able to say I loved all the food I put in my picky little mouth that night, but I can say that they were incredibly gracious hosts, and as such, deserve my respect. They deserve to be treated with that Golden Rule that's all the buzz in churches across America. "Treat others like you want to be treated."

I realize a lot of damage has already been done, but I'll be saying an extra prayer tonight for them. And maybe a little one for me too. That next time I feel the urge to post a negative review I'll spend a little more time considering the effect my words might have on those who read them.

(Insert rainbow image here. Smiling children holding hands, optional.)


mattatouille said...

I think its funny (seriously just comical!) that your next post says, "F-ing redemption" hahaha. great post Diana.

FoodDigger said...

Hi Diana. Now you've taught me some things. Amazing post that made me smile. I hope we can have you at one of our events soon. If you are interested, let me know at will@fooddigger.com.

Kristine and Ludo put their hearts and souls into Ludo Bites. I see it and taste it everytime I'm there(just got back from there, actually). Thanks for an amazing post.

choisauce said...

diana, I was seriously so touched by your post. seriously, loved it and taught me a few lessons about grace (that I can ALWAYS use, ask matt =P). let me know if ud ever like to return to ludobites and need an eating buddy. I'm there atleast once a week and must be their #1 cheerleader rooting for them to succeed because I love their food, creativity and hard work.

I'm all smiles reading this post. Very blessed. u seriously made my day :)

Pepsi Monster said...

I'm surprised by it all and missed the bruahah. Oh well, I guess it's for the best since it looked as you had remorse.

I'm glad you're giving Ludobites another shot. I haven't gone there myself, but will do in a short moment.

Great to find out something interesting about you today. :)

(I grew up in the Church of Christ and Presbyterian denominational)

Diana said...

Matt - I take Top Chef VERY seriously!

Will - Thanks so much for the kind words. I would love to attend one of your events in the future. I'll be going back to Ludobites soon and am looking forward to having the experience that everyone is buzzing about. (Though I think I'll pass on the steak tartar this time around...) ;)

Olivia - I think YOUR comment just made my day! I was nervous about posting this, but now I know I made the right decision. God's grace is truly amazing. I would love to join you and Matt at Ludobites some time soon!

Mike - Hah, be glad you missed it! It wasn't pretty -- definitely not my best moment.

mattatouille said...

haha, her twitter name is "olivejina" b/c she likes the old band Olive and her korean name is jina, but of course...in english it's Christine :)

yutjangsah said...

Amen. : )

Reeni♥ said...

I was just leaving you a comment last night at the same time you were deleting your posts. By time I was finished writing - it wouldn't accept my comment! I had tons of things to say - all of them supportive of you. Just know I love reading about your dining experiences - the good and the bad!

Diana said...

Matt - Insert picture of my mouth with a foot in it here. :($)

Sook - Thank you again for being the voice of reason in all this. I hope we can enjoy a meal together in the near future!

Reeni - Thank you so much for your encouragement/support -- it really means so much!

TonyC said...

I want our damned Ludobites post back. This is heresy.

yutjangsah said...

absolutely diana. we will break bread soon. : )

Heather said...

so this has nothing really to do with your post, although i love that some guy left you that tweet. i read that blog awhile ago because it was under your profile, but it didn't seem like you were updating it anymore, so i didn't check anymore.

so anyway, my original reason for commenting. did you see TCM tonight? i totally thought that ludo guy with the heavy accent was kind of an arrogant ass. i loved him at first because he was so attractive with his tats and all. but then he talked, and i wanted to be like, no, no. you're prettier with your lips closed. ssshhh.

Jenn said...

I love reading your posts. Just go with your gut and do what you feel is right. =)