I pretend not to care. It’s a big piece of cake – far too big for one person to eat in a single sitting. Probably too big for even three people to eat in a single sitting.
But I’m not the average person.
And the hummingbird cake at the recently re-opened Doughboys on West Third Street in West Hollywood is not the average cake.
I stare at my friend’s poised fork with disdain, wanting to shoo it far away from the lush banana walnut cake with its heroic heap of cream cheese frosting.
“He doesn’t even like walnuts,” I pout as he tears off another massive bite of the dessert I ordered. For me. To enjoy tonight – maybe tomorrow night if there are leftovers.
I sigh in defeat. There will be no leftovers.
“What is that?” The couple next to us inquires.
“Hummingbird cake.” I respond, my mouth full from the massive bite I felt inclined to take to keep pace with my friend’s rapidly-moving fork.
“It looks so good,” The man enthuses.
I swallow. “It is. He doesn’t even like walnuts.” I say as way of explanation, then force myself to smile to hide the bitterness that is simmering behind my words.
My gaze returns to the banana bread cake. There will be no savoring of this dessert. I attack it again with my fork – frantically trying to secure as much as I can before it disappears into my friend’s gaping mouth. It’s a race to the finish line now – do or die hungry time.
I pull the cake closer to my side of the table, readying a vicious snarl should my friend protest.
His fork suddenly retreats from the plate. “Uhh… that was a lot of walnuts.” He groans, his face paling.
I look up, feigning concern. “Oh? Do you feel okay?”
He frowns. “I don’t know. It was a lot of walnuts.” He repeats, his face further paling at the mention of the word.
“Do you want some tea?” I ask sweetly, extending my cup of loose leaf chamomile across the table.
He reaches for it, and I smile – victory is at hand. I align the cake under my chin and scrape up every last tender crumb while he busies himself with my tea.
Next time – and there will be a next time – I’m ordering this bad boy to go.
8136 West 3rd Street
Los Angeles, CA 90048